


Solid

by TheShyestIcicle



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grieving, Hurt No Comfort, Nothing Like Some Depressing Shit, Tabris Twins AU, To Start Off The Day, Trying to Cope, amiright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:18:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShyestIcicle/pseuds/TheShyestIcicle
Summary: She was Kina Tabris.Solid. Dependable.She could not bend.She would not break.





	Solid

**Author's Note:**

> I like to headcanon my Kina and Lindera 'Lin' Tabris as twins

When Adaia Tabris’s body was discovered, left to rot by the shemlen who had killed her, Kina Tabris knew she was going to have to be strong. She could not, would not, allow herself to breakdown. She would not cry, would not scream, would not appear anything less than solid, dependable Kina Tabris.

She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Not with her twin kneeling by their mother’s body, sobbing and screaming for her to wake up. Not when Lindera Tabris was going to completely shatter if he did not have someone to lean on. He had been so, so close to Adaia… closer than Kina had been, honestly, and if Kina was not there for him, he would break. Even with Soris and Shianni…

Kina had to be there for her brother. And she could not bend.

The teenaged elf knelt down by her brother and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. His entire body shook with the force of his sobs.

“Lin,” she said quietly.

Her twin looked up at her, tears streaking down his face.

“She’s not dead!” he cried. “She’s _not_! Mama is- she wouldn’t die! She can’t die! Tell them, Kina!” He gestured wildly at the crowd gathered around them, their kin and kind, all whispering and watching the twins with sympathy. 

Kina felt a stab of anger at their pity but shoved it down. Now was not the time.

“Kina!” Lin wailed. “Tell them _Mama’s not dead_!”

“Oh, Lin.” Kina held out her arms. She wasn’t going to lie to anyone, least of all Lin.

Lin stared at her, his entire body quivering.

Kina could feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, but she forced them back. She was solid. Dependable. She had to be.

Lin flung himself into Kina’s arms, sobbing for their mother.

Kina held him tightly and stroked his back. “I know, Lin,” she murmured. “I know.”

 

…

 

It had taken a long time, but Lin had finally fallen asleep. Kina had sat with him, rubbing his back, and trying her best to comfort him while he cried. Their father… had been no where to be seen. Completely ignoring his children when they needed him, she thought, rather bitterly.

No. No, she was being unfair. Guilt coursed through her and she shook her head. It- Papa was grieving, and- and he couldn’t- he needed Kina too. His solid, dependable daughter he always said. The Tabris twin with her head straight on her shoulders. He would need her, and she would not let him down. Lindera and Papa… they both were shattered by Adaia’s death. Kina couldn’t let bitterness cloud her thoughts. She needed to be there for them. She had to be their pillar to lean on.

She pulled a blanket over Lin and tiptoed out of their room. She was glad her twin had finally fallen asleep; he’d been shaking not just with sobs, but exhaustion by the time she’d convinced him he needed to sleep. Hopefully he’d stay asleep until morning.

Kina moved quietly through their little house, until she found herself in front of Papa’s room. She raised her hand to knock… only to hesitate when she heard the sound of soft sobs on the other side. Papa had… loved Adaia so much. He- what would he do- No. She couldn’t let her thoughts stray this way. Papa- Papa would be fine. He had Lin. He had Kina. She wouldn’t let him shoulder the burdens of the Alienage alone.

“Papa?” she whispered, hoping he’d hear her. She was… a little afraid to open the door.

No answer. Just sobs.

Kina bit her lip. She needed to help Papa… but she- she didn’t want to- The part of her that was still Papa’s little girl was terrified to see him- s-she didn’t w-want to-

She needed- she needed to be a pillar. Stone. Dependable. Just like Adaia had always told her.

Very faintly, she could hear Papa cry Adaia’s name.

Maybe it was the horrible heart-broken way in which he said her name, maybe it was just the knowledge that even Papa, larger than life Papa, could break like this…

Kina sank to her knees, struggling to hold back tears. She- she couldn’t do this! She was a kid, only thirteen! She wanted her Papa, she wanted him to come out of his room, hold her in his arms, and tell her everything would be okay. She wanted him to tell her Lin would be okay, she wanted him to-

She wanted _Adaia_ to-!

Adaia was dead!

Kina’s lips trembled and she pressed her fist against her mouth. She- she-

_A little girl lagged behind her mother, sulking._

_“Come on, Kina,” Adaia called over her shoulder. “Stop dragging your feet.”_

_“Don’t want to learn to fight,” little Kina mumbled sullenly. “Want to cook with Papa.”_

_Adaia sighed. “You can cook with Papa another day. You need to learn to defend yourself, sweetie.”_

_Kina grumbled and stopped walking, digging her feet into the ground. “You ‘n Papa can protect me.”_

_Adaia stopped and studied her daughter. “Of course, we will always try, sweetie. But Papa and I might not always be there to protect you or Lin.”_

_“Lin can fight,” Kina said stubbornly. “He said you’re teaching him.”_

_“Of course, I am,” Adaia answered. “But you need to learn too.” She knelt down to reach the little girl’s eye level. “Kina, you’re the oldest, right?”_

_The little girl nodded. She was only older than her twin by seven minutes, but she always insisted it counted._

_“And the older sister needs to be able to protect her little brother, right?”_

_“Mm-hm.” Kina nodded._

_“And do you think you can do that if you can’t fight?”_

_“No.”_

_“Then will you let me teach you? For Lin? And Papa too.”_

_Kina laughed, her earlier stubbornness already forgotten. “Papa doesn’t need me to protect him!”_

_Adaia grinned and held out her hand to her daughter. The little girl gripped it tightly. “Come now, of course Papa needs you! You’re Kina! My solid and dependable Kina! Right?”_

_“Mmm!” The little girl nodded happily._

“Kina?”

Lin’s voice broke Kina out of her memories and she jumped a little. She glanced behind her to see her twin standing uncertainly, looking worried.

“A-are you okay?” Lin asked in a small voice, sounding like he actually was her younger brother, instead of her twin.

Solid and dependable Kina. She couldn’t fall apart. Lin needed her. Papa needed her. She needed…

She needed to protect them. Maybe not with weapons, like Adaia had always thought-

Adaia who had charged Kina with keeping the family together, if anything should ever happen to her.

Adaia who was no longer there to hold the family together.

Adaia who might have seen herself in her daughter and so had put al her expectations on Kina.

Adaia who had not considered that maybe Kina didn’t want to always be dependable. That maybe Kina also needed to lean on someone, at least a little.

Adaia… who was dead.

She was _dead_ and she had left Kina behind. She had abandoned Kina, dumped everything on her shoulders!

Adaia had _left her behind._

And Kina knew she could never replace her, never quite be the person Lin and Papa needed. She wasn’t Adaia.

She wasn’t calling Adaia ‘mama’, Kina realized with a dull jolt.

“K-Kina?” Lin was on the verge of tears again.

Solid. Dependable. The older sister by only seven minutes.

Kina stood up. Smiled at Lin. “I’m okay, Lin. I just wanted to check on Papa.”

Lin glanced at the closed door. He looked terrified. “I-is Papa…?”

“He’s okay,” Kina lied. “But asleep. Which we both should be. Come on, Lin.”

She took her twin’s hand and he gripped it tightly.

“Kina,” he whispered. “I- I m-miss her.”

Kina squeezed his hand. “I know, Lin.”

She couldn’t allow herself time to grieve. Not if she was going to wake up in the morning, get Papa out of bed, and keep the family together.

She wouldn’t have time to miss Adaia.

Kina found she didn't care.


End file.
